Is the term ‘comfort zone’ a familiar one to you?
What does it mean to you?
Basically it is your normality – the things that you do, the people that you know and relate to and with regularly, the places you go. The interesting thing is that it is not necessarily where you are happy or comfortable.
Well, how about a scenario where someone is unhappy in a relationship but they can’t or won’t move out of it. They are scared to step outside their comfort zone and the reasons behind this can be many and varied. Staying within your comfort zone can be rather ‘rut like’ and although the alternative is appealing, getting there is rather scary.
In our society change is all around. The majority of people do not like it as it means doing things differently and things being unfamiliar – it means moving outside the zone.
Think about how you view change.
Do you welcome it or hate it?
How do you manage it?
The change that needs to happen is in all aspects of our lives, be that home and dealing with things like children leaving home, the upheaval of a move or major work in the house. It’s also in work such as changing jobs, redundancy, retirement or perhaps having to look at new directions for your business or making a speech.
What would it take for you to choose to step outside the zone?
What is the worst thing that could happen?
How would you feel if you managed to achieve what you wanted?
Would it have been worth doing?
As a coach, much of my work is supporting people as they take those steps, and I often need to step outside my comfort zone too. Often I choose to as I know it will move me forwards but just this week I had to do it and I didn’t want to.
A situation had arisen which was difficult and involved whether I wanted to continue to do business with a client. On one side it would have been easier to say ‘this is not working’ and walk away. However, how would I feel? Would I feel I had given up so should I stay with it or would that result in even more hassle?
In a session with my coach, he helped me explore both sides. It became clear that whatever the outcome I would have to talk to the person. Was that going to be the worst part?
I felt really nervous. It became clear to me though, that if I took the easier option I would feel that I had let myself down. I would also not be being authentic.
‘When are you going to do it then’ I heard my coach ask. ‘Sooner rather than later’, I replied. ‘So when’? – I could feel the pressure and knew I had to make a commitment otherwise I would never do it. ‘Tomorrow morning, first thing’.
There was now no going back, so I sat down and thought about what I wanted to achieve, what I needed to say and how to do it. At nine o’clock the next morning, feeling really uneasy, I stood up (you come over more strongly when you do this) and made the call. ‘Fine’ was the response and it was all over.
WOW! How good did I feel? Not just because I got what I wanted but more importantly I did what was right, I hadn’t taken the easy option and now I was really proud of me, I felt invincible.
The things that cause the greatest pain are the things that take us further forward and that we get the greatest benefit from. Why not try it?
If you need some help give me a call on 07941 246619 or email me using the button below and we can chat about what would suit you best. There will be a number of approaches to meet you and your budget’s needs.